Cock love.

Dear Axe Tashina,

I was envolved in my first three-some in college. i think i fell in love with one of the guys who was shoving his cock in my mouth, but i forgot what his face looks like. should i go around to all the guys i met that night and just ask to see their cocks, or is there a better way?

sincerly,
Candy the Cumdumpster

Candy,

First of all, it's "involved," not "envolved." I realize it must be hard to type properly, what with all the cocks you apparently get shoved into your mouth, but I figure a little spelling lesson never hurt anyone. Also, I'd like to think that "envolved" means something else... something like "enveloped" but better. Like maybe your mouth envolved his cock. Where envolved is the dirty version of enveloped. Or something.

This is all not the point. Moving on...

My biggest question is: "When was this threesome?" However, I obviously can't get an answer for that, so I'll try to address your problem as best I can.

The main problem is that you can't fall in love with some guy if you don't remember his face. Now, you CAN fall in love with some guy's cock... but that's a different kind of love. The love of a cock is an undescribable thing. Can you touch a rainbow? Can you count all the clouds in the sky? Can you adopt all the puppies in the world? Can you feed every starving child? It's the same thing - you cannot explain cock love. It doesn't mean you can't know it, or embrace it, or envolve yourself in it. It's just impossible to put into words. I wrote a poem about it once, but after the 19th page, I realized it was pointless and that I was only frustrating myself - and craving cock in an unhealthy way.

But no, that's not your problem. YOUR problem is that you think, just because you loved a cock, that means you love a guy. You stupid fucking cumdumpster. You are the reason that males are afraid of vaginas. You think the reason that guy shoved his dick in your mouth is because HE LOVED YOU?!?! No. He did it because you think that fucking equals love, so he thought, "Hey, if I fuck this chick with someone else, and then I don't actually put it in her pussy, maybe she'll get that this isn't anything having to do with emotion." Lemme guess - if he did fuck you, he threw it in your ass. Right? That's not love - that's him fucking you over.

So if you loved his cock so much, then yes you should go around looking for that one special cock. But if you think you're REALLY in love with him, then go find some weak boy to fuck while you get over your dumb girl feelings. Eventually, you'll fuck enough people that you won't have any love left in your heart. That's when you'll know you're a real person. After all, it worked for me.